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Mitch McConnell: My Bad, Obama Did Leave a Pandemic Playbook But I Couldn’t See It From Inside Trump’s Ass

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) has made no apologies about creating a safe space inside President Trump’s ass. As such, he’s found himself spouting claims he heard Trump say without fact-checking because, like most Trump supporters, he doesn’t give a shit. So when Trump claimed that he wasn’t given the keys to the White House without an instructor’s manual on how to handle things, the lie-detector test determined that was a lie.

On Monday, McConnell, the saggiest neck in all the land, claimed that the Trump White House had not been briefed by the outgoing Obama administration on how to handle a pandemic like, umm, I don’t know the coronavirus, and he also noted that former President Barack Obama should have kept his mouth shut when talking about the worst presidency in the history of America, despite the fact that Trump can’t keep Obama’s name out of his anus-shaped mouth.

“We want to be early, ready for the next one, because clearly the Obama administration did not leave to this administration any kind of game plan for something like this,” McConnell said Monday during a virtual interview with Lara Trump, the president’s daughter-in-law, which means she’s also an adviser or some shit.

On Thursday, McConnell—who should’ve been fined by police for sagging in public—had to fix his mouth to kiss Obama’s ass.

“I was wrong,” McConnell said in an evening interview with Fox News’ Bret Baier, Politico reports. “They did leave behind a plan. So, I clearly made a mistake in that regard.”

Politico notes it’d reported on Obama’s 69-page explainer on how to handle all kinds of problems including “many of the problems plaguing the nation’s coronavirus response — from shortages of personal protective equipment to the need for unified public guidance on the crisis,” in March.

Now the White House is switching course as they’ve been known to do when they’re called on their lies; so the story has switched from “Obama didn’t leave us anything” to “what he left wasn’t good enough.”

White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany told reporters that the “Obama-Biden plan that has been referenced was insufficient,” and said the Trump administration had prepared its own pandemic report and exercises last year.

“In other words, the Obama-Biden paper packet was superseded by a President Trump-style pandemic preparedness response plan,“ McEnany said.

“Which was much better,“ Trump followed up. “We were given very little when we came into this administration.” McEnany stood behind Trump holding up two binders to represent the work the Trump administration had supposedly done, but no one has seen said binders to see if they were filled with Trump’s stick-figure artwork.

The point of this story is this: Mitch McConnell had to kiss Obama’s ass publicly. That’s it. That’s the story.

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