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Trump Finally Dons Mask, Completes the Final Stage of Becoming Bane

President Trump is a senior citizen. The coronavirus hates senior citizens. One of the ways to prevent the spread of the coronavirus is to wear a mask. The president refuses to wear a mask—mostly because he’s a maverick, and by maverick, I mean asshole.

But on Thursday, when the gray clouds collided and the city of Gotham was all dark and shit, President Bane dawned his presidential mask and finally acted like a goddamned adult, even if it was only for a second.

Thankfully, a diligent photographer caught the president playing hide-the-mask from America inside the Ford factory in Michigan on Thursday and captured a beautiful photo of the president adhering to Michigan law.

The photo of President Putin-ish wearing his mask would be the first since the global pandemic brought the world to a crippling halt. The president believed that he was safely in the back of the facility away from prying eyes as he boasted about wearing a mask in the “back area” later that day.

The president spoke to reporters after his tour of the facility without wearing a face mask. When asked why he wasn’t wearing the mask, the president gloated that he wore one but that he “didn’t want to give the press the pleasure of seeing it,” the Hill reports.

Welp, in the lineage of all of the great “deez nuts” jokes of our ancestors, I say, “Got eeeeem.”

The Hill notes that Trump also didn’t wear a mask when he met with AfricanAmerican “leaders”—and I use that word loosely as it was just the doctor of houses, Ben Carson, and the usual cast of black folks who probably voted for Trump.

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